A few months ago - Calvin was somewhere in the 15-17 month old range - I was really having a hard time appreciating him, appreciating motherhood, appreciating the huge blessing I have of working from home so I get to spend most days with him. Instead, inability to really communicate, or him making a mess becasue he was just being a kid, or even just his constant need for attention - was making me crazy. I wasn’t sure how I could keep this up every day… especially knowing his little sister would be born in just a few months.
I can honestly say those few months have been the most challenging I have faced so far as a mother. I just could not find joy or happiness or gratitude in my situation. I am very embarrassed to admit that to you. But it is the truth, and I want to share it incase you, Super Momma, have been there too.
Then God tugged at my heart. Hard.
I was sick. I had been congested for weeks - an awesome side effect of my pregnancy - so I was resting in the dark, sitting in the silence, trying to recover. That’s when God stepped in. He showed me a vidid image of my hand holding Calvin’s sweet little hand. Immediately I knew what He was telling me. I was reminded that, oh my goodness, I am so blessed. That little boy is growing up before my eyes and I am missing it all becasue of this never-ending pity party I had been throwing myself.
Since the moment God woke me up from my selfish state, Calvin has grabbed my hand hundreds of times. He is 20 months old now, so he still has plenty of reasons to reach his little hand up for mine. It happens countless times a day - walking to the mailbox together, climbing up the stairs, getting up into his high chair, just walking around the house - and every single time his little fingers wrap around mine, I am instantly grateful.
Don’t get me wrong, I still get frustrated, annoyed, anxious, mad… all the mom-emotions. But what is different now is whenever that little boy grabs my hand, it triggers the reminder God placed on my heart. I remember to take a breath and be grateful. Grateful for my son. Grateful he loves me so much and I love him more than anything in the world. Grateful he is happy, healthy and growing. Grateful that I - me, no one else! - get to be his mommy.
Momma, next time your little one grabs your hand, I pray you take just a second and remember to be grateful. The mess can wait. It is okay that you are running late. It doesn’t matter that there is avocado smeared on your shirt. As that tiny little hand holds yours, be so so so so grateful that you get to be that child’s momma.
I’ve heard it said “the days are long, but the years are short”. That tiny hand won’t always need you to hold it. Cherish each and every time they reach up to hold you and be so grateful.
I have a challenge for you. For the next week, remind yourself to feel gratitude every single time that little hand takes yours. Pretty soon, my hope is that gratitude becomes a habit for you, like it has for me now.
Take this gratitude challenge, then please share the difference its made for you by using the hashtag #LittleHandsBigLove on Instagram. That way we can experience growing our gratitude together! I can’t wait to hear about your journey.
You got this, Super Momma.